You Were Handed the Wrong Mirror.
There’s a specific kind of tired that comes from not understanding yourself.
It’s not the tired you get from working too hard. It’s the tired you get from working against yourself. Over and over. Without knowing why.
You take tests. You get a label. For about a week it feels like something. Then you’re right back to the same friction. The same confusion about why you react the way you react. Why certain things drain you. Why you can’t just be more like them.
And then the worst part arrives. You start thinking the problem is you.
It was never you. You were handed the wrong mirror.
I know what that feels like. I lived it.
Back in the early 90s I was taking personality assessments. Paper and pencil. Someone else reading the results and telling me what I was.
Every single one said the same thing. Teacher.
But it didn’t fit. Every organization that got that result tried to slot me into their idea of what a teacher looks like. They wanted me at a podium. In front of a room. Performing.
I hated that. That wasn’t me.
So I kept thinking I was misreading myself. Or they were misreading me. Either way the label never fit. I’d read about my so-called gift and feel nothing. No recognition. Just more confusion.
I carried that for years.
Then something shifted.
It wasn’t a dramatic moment. It was ordinary.
I was helping my daughter with homework. Breaking down directions until she understood. Her face lit up. A coworker asked me to explain something complicated. I simplified it. Problem solved.
No stage. No audience. No performance. Just me pouring out what I knew to help someone else understand something they couldn’t figure out on their own.
And it brought me joy.
When I stopped trying to fit into their limited definition and started recognizing what was actually flowing through me, everything changed. Identity and purpose stopped feeling like two separate things I had to find. They were the same thing.
Your identity IS your purpose. 🤞
Once I saw it in myself I couldn’t stop seeing it in other people.
My mind has always loved patterns. In high school it was geometry. The way things connect. The way differences matter. People work the same way.
I started watching how people responded to the world around them. How the same trait could show up beautifully in one person and as a real problem in another. How the same energy could build someone up or grind them down depending on whether they understood it.
I thought everyone saw people this way. I really did.
Friends started calling. Then coworkers. Then strangers. Complete strangers driving from other states just to sit down and talk.
For over 35 years I worked with people to understand their what, their how, their why. They’d leave feeling understood. Really understood. Like someone finally described them clearly enough that they could see themselves.
I used to say I was holding up an invisible mirror. Not telling them who to be. Just describing who they already were.
What came out of those decades is the 7 ING energy Types.
Seven distinct patterns. Seven ways that energy flows through people as they move through the world.
perceive ING, serve ING, teach ING, encourage ING, give ING, lead ING, and mercy ING.
Every person has all seven. But one flows stronger than the rest. That’s your core ING type. Your natural current.
Here’s what makes this different from everything you’ve tried before. Other systems hand you a noun. You’re a two. You’re an INTJ. You’re a lion. And then what? You have a label. But you still don’t know why you’re wired this way or what you’re supposed to do with it.
ING energy doesn’t give you a noun. It shows you a verb. It shows you how you’re already moving through the world. How you’ve always been moving through the world. You just didn’t have words for it yet.
That’s the difference. And it’s everything.
This is what your ING type actually looks like.
If you’re a perceive ING type you see things other people miss. You notice what’s not being said. People have probably told you that you’re too intense or too honest.
If you’re a serve ING type you know what people need before they ask. You’re the one who quietly makes everything work. People have probably leaned on you to the point where you had nothing left.
If you’re a teach ING type you break things down until they make sense. You’ve probably been told you give too much detail. But the people who needed to understand something finally understood it because of you.
If you’re an encourage ING type you walk into a room and automatically see what people are capable of. You’ve probably been called too optimistic. But you’ve watched people become who they needed to be because you refused to stop believing in them.
If you’re a give ING type you’re always thinking about resources and the people who need them. You’ve probably been called too generous. Your giving is strategic and your trust is hard to earn.
If you’re a lead ING type you see the path forward before anyone else does. You’ve probably been told to slow down. But when you weren’t in charge, things stayed stuck.
If you’re a mercy ING type you feel what other people feel before they say a word. You’ve probably been told you’re too sensitive. But you’re the one people call when something is actually wrong.
The moment everything clicks.
I’ve watched it happen hundreds of times. Maybe thousands.
Someone sits down. We start talking. And then they go still.
Not quiet. Still. Like something finally clicked into place that they’d been waiting years to click.
It’s not excitement. It’s not relief exactly. It’s more like exhaling something you’ve been holding for years.
People who carried shame about the way they’re wired finally have a name for it that doesn’t sound like a flaw. People who spent years apologizing for how they naturally show up finally understand it’s not something to fix. It’s something to understand and develop.
That’s when they come alive.
That’s what I’ve spent decades watching. And that’s why I built this.
Your next step.
If you don’t know your ING energy type yet, start there. The free quiz is at ingtypes.com. Five minutes. Results straight to your inbox.
You can also watch the full story in Episode 3 of my YouTube series here: [link]
Your identity IS your purpose. 🤞
Stephanie Mason is the author of 7 ING energy Types: From Quirks to Strengths and the founder of TSMI.