You’ve Been Trying to Change the Wrong Thing Your Whole Life
You’ve spent years trying to change something about yourself.
Maybe it was the way you couldn’t stop seeing what was wrong before anyone else did. Maybe it was how you moved toward whoever needed something before they even asked. Maybe it was that you couldn’t let something go until it actually made sense. Maybe it was that you kept believing in people who had already given up on themselves. Maybe it was that you kept giving, even when you didn’t have enough left yourself. Maybe it was that you saw ten steps ahead of everyone else in the room. Maybe it was that you felt what other people were feeling like it was your own.
And no matter how hard you tried, it never worked.
You caught yourself in the moment. You held back the thing that wanted to come out. You watched people’s faces for the flinch. The second you saw it, you pulled back even further.
For a while, that even seemed to work. People relaxed around you. Things felt easier.
But it never actually went away. It just went quiet for a little while. And then it came back, the same as before, because you never actually changed the thing. You just learned to hide it better.
Here’s what was really happening the whole time.
You didn’t have language for the thing you were trying to change. Nobody ever gave you any. People reacted to it. Called it too much. Told you to tone it down. You didn’t have any way to separate their reaction from the thing itself. So you assumed the thing itself was the problem.
It wasn’t. You just didn’t have language for what was actually happening.
What Is ING energy?
I want to introduce you to ING energy™.
Not a personality test. Not a category. Not a label you carry around for the rest of your life.
It’s the specific way you’re wired to move through the world. How you think. How you love. How you work before you’ve said a single word in a room. It was there before anyone had an opinion about it. Before the world ever called it too much. It was there from the very beginning.
You just never had language for it. Until now.
There are seven ING energy types: perceive ING™, serve ING™, teach ING™, encourage ING™, give ING™, lead ING™, and mercy ING™. Every person carries all seven. But one of them flows the strongest in you. It’s been shaping how you show up since you were born, long before you ever had words for it.
Recognizing Your ING energy Type
- Some of you have always seen what’s wrong before anyone else does. The flaw in the plan. The tension nobody else named. You tried to keep it to yourself. You tried to let it go. But you couldn’t stop seeing it, and you couldn’t stop saying something about it. And you were told you were harsh. Too critical. Always finding something wrong. That’s perceive ING energy. And it was never the problem.
- Some of you have always moved toward whoever needed something. Before they asked. Sometimes before they even knew they needed it. You tried to wait. You tried to let someone else handle it. But you couldn’t leave a need unmet. And you were told you did too much for everyone else and not enough for yourself. That’s serve ING energy. And it was never weakness.
- Some of you have always needed the full picture before you could move forward. You tried to just go with it. You tried to decide faster, like everyone else seems to. But you couldn’t let something go until it actually made sense. And you were told you were overthinking it again. That’s teach ING energy. And it was never a flaw.
- Some of you have always believed in people, even after they stopped believing in themselves. You tried to be more realistic. You tried to brace for the worst like everyone told you to. But you kept seeing what was still possible. And you were told you were naive. That’s encourage ING energy. And it was never foolishness.
- Some of you have always given first. Your time, your attention, the very thing you didn’t have enough of yourself. You tried to hold some of it back. You tried to say no. But generosity keeps winning. And you were told people would take advantage of you. That’s give ING energy. And it was never a flaw.
- Some of you have always seen the next ten steps before anyone else saw the first one. You tried to wait your turn. You tried to let someone else take the lead. But you couldn’t stop seeing the path forward. And you were told you were controlling. Too much. That’s lead ING energy. And it was never arrogance.
- Some of you have always felt what other people feel, not just noticed it. You tried to build a wall around it. You tried to care a little less. But their pain keeps landing in you like it was your own. And you were told you were too sensitive. That’s mercy ING energy. And it was never the problem.
The Thing That Landed Differently
One of those landed differently in your spirit than the others. You felt it. That quiet little jolt of recognition. That’s not a coincidence.
That’s the thing you spent years trying to change, finally getting the language for it.
And it matters. Because that thing you spent so long trying to change? It was never the wrong thing about you.
It was you the whole time.
Madie said it well. Knowing her ING type™ never asked her to change who she was. Instead, it helped her embrace the strengths that were already there, and redirect them in a way that let her thrive. She wasn’t trying to become someone else anymore. She was finally living as exactly who she already was and was created to be.
You Were Trying to Change the Wrong Thing
I’ve spent decades watching people try to change the very thing that makes them who they are. And I’ve watched the moment they stop trying to change it.
That moment is always quiet. It’s not a celebration. It’s not a big announcement. It’s relief. The slow exhale of someone who’s been fighting themselves for a very long time.
Your ING type was never what was wrong with you. It was the thing you spent your whole life trying to change. You just never had language for it.
Now you do.
Your identity IS your purpose.™ And it always has been.
Find Your ING energy Type
Most people don’t know their ING type yet. That’s exactly what the free quiz is for. Your results go straight to your inbox, and it takes less than five minutes.
This isn’t another way to change who you are. It’s the first time someone gives you language for the thing you never needed to change.
Want to go deeper? 7 ING energy Types: From Quirks to Strengths walks through all seven types in full, including what each one looks like at its best and what it looks like when it’s out of alignment.
Get My Copy of 7 ING energy Types
Stephanie Mason is the author of 7 ING energy Types and the founder of TSMI. ING energy™, ING type™, perceive ING™, serve ING™, teach ING™, encourage ING™, give ING™, lead ING™, mercy ING™, and Your identity IS your purpose.™ are trademarks of TSMI™.