The Real You Was Never the Question
At work, they love how organized you keep everything. At home, your family just wishes you’d relax.
Same person. Same trait. Two completely different reactions.
Maybe it’s not organization for you. Maybe it’s how directly you speak the truth. Maybe it’s how deeply you feel for people. Maybe it’s how hard you push toward what’s next.
Whatever it is, you’ve noticed it. Celebrated in one place. Draining in another. And you don’t know why.
The Question You’ve Been Asking
So you start wondering which version of you is real. The one that gets celebrated, or the one that’s always too much, or not enough.
That’s not the right question. The real question is why the same thing lands so differently depending on who you’re with.
Two Ways You Cope With It
Here’s what most people do about it without realizing it.
When something you do creates tension, you tone it down. You start doubting one of your biggest strengths. It gets filed away as “too much.”
When it gets celebrated instead, you lean into it, sometimes too hard, because somewhere it’s finally appreciated.
Slowly, you become a slightly different person in each relationship. You edit the same strength based on what worked last time.
It’s exhausting. And it still doesn’t explain why the same thing that works at work backfires at home.
What’s Going On
I want to introduce you to ING energy. It’s the system behind everything at ingtypes.com. And it shows up in every relationship and every sphere of influence you’re part of.
Your ING type is how ING energy comes out of you. It’s more than a strength. It’s your purpose. It’s the why behind how you show up. You can read the full breakdown of all seven types in the book 7 ING energy Types.
Where It’s Flowing From Explained
Here’s the part that determines what you experience. Every ING type can come from two different places. Fear, selfishness, and insecurity. Or love, selflessness, and security.
Where it’s flowing from decides what people actually receive from you. Not which ING type you carry.
Here’s how that plays out across all seven ING energy types:
- perceive ING voices what others miss or hesitate to say. From fear, they lead with criticism that shuts people down. From love, their honesty brings clarity people can trust.
- serve ING notices what people need before they ask. From fear, they build quiet resentment underneath the help. From love, they offer help people can rely on without asking twice.
- teach ING breaks things down until they make sense. From fear, they slip into condescension that makes people feel small. From love, their patience brings understanding people can’t find anywhere else.
- encourage ING sees potential before someone can see it in themselves. From fear, they turn dismissive, brushing past what someone’s really going through. From love, they offer hope that actually lifts people up.
- give ING sees a need and finds a way to meet it. From fear, they attach strings no one agreed to. From love, their sharing brings the security of knowing what people need is covered.
- lead ING sees the path forward before anyone else does. From fear, they take control of decisions that were never theirs to make. From love, they offer direction people can build on and lean on.
- mercy ING feels what someone’s feeling before a word is said. From fear, they offer excuses that look away from what’s actually wrong. From love, they offer comfort people remember for years.
One of those probably landed differently than the rest. That’s not random. That’s recognition.
The Same You, Every Relationship Sphere
You don’t choose your ING type. You were born with it. But you do choose where it flows from, every time. Fear, or love. Same wiring. Two completely different outcomes.
Do you know your ING type yet? Most people don’t, until they take the free ING energy quiz. Your results land straight in your inbox.
Think back to that trait you started with. Organized at work, exhausting at home. It was never different versions of you. It was the same ING type, carried into every sphere you’re part of.
Your personal sphere, with the people who know you best. Your work sphere, with the people who see you get things done. Your community sphere, with the people who chose to know you at all. The closer the relationship, the stronger the impact. And the more it matters where your ING type is flowing from.
You don’t have to become a different person. It’s normal that not everyone values you the same way. That’s not your choice or your responsibility. But how you show up, from fear or from love, always is.
That’s your identity. And your identity IS your purpose.🤞
Stephanie Mason is the founder of TSMI and author of 7 ING energy Types. She created the ING energy™ system after 35 years of working with people on identity and purpose. Take the free ING energy quiz at ingtypes.com/ing-energy-quiz/.