Life Got Full and Some Friends Didn’t Make the Cut
Think of one friend. Someone you chose, on purpose, because you wanted them in your life.
Not family you were born into. Not a coworker you got assigned.
Then somewhere along the way, that friendship went quiet.
No fight. No falling out. No moment you can point back to.
You just stopped calling as much. You stopped following up. You stopped making room the way you used to.
Life got full, and something had to give. You didn’t choose for it to end. You just quietly chose everything else first.
Now there’s a guilt sitting underneath it that you don’t talk about.
You know you’re the one who let it fade. They didn’t do anything wrong. That’s what makes it so hard.
But you didn’t fail that friendship. Something else was happening, and you didn’t have language for it yet.
You Chose Comfort Over Honesty
Here’s what actually happened. You didn’t choose to end that friendship on purpose.
You chose to keep things comfortable instead. When something felt off, you smiled through it. You let it slide.
Every time you picked comfort over honesty, the friendship got a little smaller.
You told yourself you got busy. Work picked up. Life got loud. And some of that was true.
But some of it was easier than the truth. Maybe you’d started editing yourself down around this person.
Softening what you thought. Holding back what you needed.
That’s not laziness. That’s you protecting yourself from a struggle you couldn’t name.
What Is ING energy?
Here’s what was happening underneath all of it. How you’re wired shapes how you see the world, including your friendships.
I want to introduce you to ING energy™.
It’s not a personality test. It’s not about labels. It’s the reason you notice what you notice and need what you need.
When life got full, you didn’t sit down and rank your friendships. Your ING energy™ did that ranking for you, faster than you could think about it.
It wasn’t sorting the right friends from the wrong ones. Any ING type can build a real friendship with any other.
The tension you were sensing was something harder to see. Some friendships took less from you to keep going. Others took more, and you struggled to explain why.
What Each ING energy Type Brings to Friendship
Here’s some of what each of the seven ING energy types naturally brings to a friendship. And what happens when that gift gets met with fear instead of love.
- perceive ING™. You see what’s really going on before anyone says it, and tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. Met with fear, they feel criticized. Met with love, they feel looked out for.
- serve ING™. You show up for friends without waiting to be asked. Met with fear, they feel entitled to it. Met with love, they feel deeply cared for.
- teach ING™. You want friends to truly understand things, not just hear about them. Met with fear, they feel doubted. Met with love, they feel like they won’t be left behind.
- encourage ING™. You believe in friends before they believe in themselves. Met with fear, they feel dismissed. Met with love, they feel believed in.
- give ING™. You give friends what you have, sometimes before they even ask. Met with fear, they feel indebted. Met with love, they feel genuinely provided for.
- lead ING™. You show up with a plan when a friend’s life feels like chaos. Met with fear, they feel controlled. Met with love, they feel steadied.
- mercy ING™. You feel what friends feel, sometimes before they say a word. Met with fear, they feel like they’re walking on eggshells. Met with love, they feel fully understood.
One of those landed differently in your spirit than the rest. That’s not random. That’s recognition.
The thing your friends tease you about. The thing you’ve tried to tone down. That’s not a flaw. That’s your greatest strength.
You don’t choose your ING type™. You do choose where it flows from.
Find Your ING energy™ Type
Most people don’t know their ING type™ yet. That’s exactly what the free quiz is for. Your results go straight to your inbox.
The Relationship Changes, Your ING Type Doesn’t
Think back to that friendship that went quiet. It didn’t fail. Your wiring was telling you something true before you had language for it.
Any ING type can blend with any other, each one leaning into what the other brings.
What determines a friendship isn’t the ING type on either side. It’s whether both of you are choosing love over fear.
This isn’t only about that one friendship. Your ING type shows up with your family. It shows up at work. It shows up in your community, with people you barely know.
The relationship changes. Your ING type doesn’t.
Now you know why some friendships took more, and some took less. Now you have language for what was happening the whole time.
Your identity IS your purpose.™
Want to go deeper? 7 ING energy Types: From Quirks to Strengths walks through all seven types in full, including what each one looks like at its best and what it looks like when it’s out of alignment.
Get My Copy of 7 ING energy Types
Stephanie Mason is the founder of TSMI™ and creator of the 7 ING energy Types™. ING energy™, ING type™, perceive ING™, serve ING™, teach ING™, encourage ING™, give ING™, lead ING™, mercy ING™, and Your identity IS your purpose.™ are trademarks of TSMI™.