The Thing They Told You to Stop Doing Is the Reason You Exist
You’ve tried to reel it back in. More than once. More times than you’d admit.
Maybe someone told you that you were too intense. That you needed to stop looking for what was wrong and just enjoy things.
Maybe they told you that you were doing too much. That you had to learn how to say no and stop making yourself so available to people who weren’t doing the same for you.
Maybe they told you to stop explaining everything. That not everyone wanted a lesson.
Maybe they told you that your optimism was unrealistic. That you needed to stop trying to motivate people toward things that probably weren’t going to work out.
Maybe they told you that you were too generous. That you needed to stop giving so much away and start protecting what was yours.
Maybe they told you that you were too bossy. That not every situation needed you to step up.
Maybe they told you that you were too sensitive. That you absorbed too much and needed to create some distance.
So you tried. You genuinely tried to be less of whatever they said was too much. You pulled it back. You monitored yourself. You caught it when it surfaced and pushed it back down.
And it bubbled back up. Every time.
Because you can’t suppress your wiring. You can only pretend to. And every time you do, something in you goes quiet and numb in a way that doesn’t feel like peace.
That’s not a discipline problem. That’s what happens when you spend years fighting yourself.
Here’s what I want you to understand about every person who ever told you that you were too much. They weren’t trying to break you. They were uncomfortable. And when a person is uncomfortable with something they don’t understand, the most natural thing in the world is to ask you to make it smaller.
The person who told you to stop questioning everything wasn’t seeing someone with a gift for finding truth before anyone else did. They were seeing someone who made them feel like nothing was ever good enough. That was their experience of you. Not the reality of you.
The person who told you to stop doing so much wasn’t seeing someone whose purpose moves through them toward every need in the room. They were seeing someone who made them feel inadequate by comparison.
The person who told you to stop explaining things wasn’t seeing someone who genuinely cannot let confusion sit. They were seeing someone who made them feel talked at.
The person who told you to stop inspiring everyone wasn’t seeing someone wired to see potential before the evidence exists. They were seeing someone who seemed out of touch with reality.
The person who told you to stop giving everything away wasn’t seeing someone whose first instinct has always been an open hand. They were seeing someone who made generosity feel uncomfortable by comparison.
The person who told you to stop taking over wasn’t seeing someone who moves toward chaos because they can already see how to fix it. They were seeing someone who made them feel unnecessary.
The person who told you to stop absorbing everyone’s pain wasn’t seeing someone whose presence brings comfort to others. They were seeing someone who seemed to struggle with boundaries.
Their experience of you was never the truth of you. What felt like too much to them was just unfamiliar. And unfamiliar made them uncomfortable enough to hand it back to you as a problem to fix.
But you were never the problem.
I want to introduce you to ING energy. Not a test. Not a category. A language built to describe what’s already moving through you.
There are seven ING energy types. Every person carries a unique mixture of all seven, but you have one core type. The one that flows strongest. The one that keeps bubbling back up no matter how many times you tried to push it down.
Here’s all seven, in order:
- perceive ING can’t stop seeing what everyone else walks right past. They’ve been told they’re too critical, too negative. But the seeing never stopped, because it was never a choice.
- serve ING knows what’s needed before anyone asks. They’ve been told they do too much. But the noticing never stopped, because it’s how they were made.
- teach ING can’t let confusion sit. They’ve been told they’re lecturing. But the instruction never stopped, because it’s the energy they were created to flow in.
- encourage ING sees what something can become before anyone else believes it’s possible. They’ve been told they’re unrealistic. But the believing never stopped, because it’s how they were wired to move things forward.
- give ING shares what they have, know, and figure out. They’ve been told they give too much away. But the generosity never stopped, because it’s the hand they were created with.
- lead ING sees what needs to happen in the middle of chaos. They’ve been told they’re too bossy. But the guidance never stopped, because it’s how they were created to serve the people around them.
- mercy ING feels what you feel like it’s their own. They’ve been told they’re too sensitive. But the presence never stopped, because it’s one of the rarest things a human can bring to another.
One of those landed differently in your spirit than the others. Not because you chose it. Because ING chose you.
That thing that keeps bubbling up no matter how hard you try to hold it down? That’s not your problem. That’s your purpose.
Do you know your ING energy type?
Most people don’t yet. Take my free ING energy quiz and your results go straight to your inbox.
I’ve spent decades watching people fight themselves. Pulling back the thing that kept coming forward. Apologizing for the energy that wouldn’t stay down. Trying to become a quieter version of themselves so the people around them could be more comfortable.
And I’ve watched the moment they stop fighting. That moment is always quiet. It’s not a celebration. It’s relief. The slow exhale of someone who realizes they’ve been trying to suppress who they are for a very long time.
The thing they told you to stop doing was never the problem. It was the answer. It was the specific energy you were created to carry. The contribution only you can make.
Your ING type keeps bubbling up because it was never supposed to stay down.
You weren’t too much. You were exactly enough, in exactly the right way. You just didn’t have language for it yet.
Your identity IS your purpose.™
Stephanie Mason is the author of 7 ING energy Types and the founder of TSMI. ING energy™, ING type™, perceive ING™, serve ING™, teach ING™, encourage ING™, give ING™, lead ING™, mercy ING™, and Your identity IS your purpose.™ are trademarks of TSMI™.